Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka?
Forever.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize