i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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