glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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