i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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