Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
