Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
