just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
