who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
