shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
