i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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