I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
