Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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