i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
