just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
