Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
