he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
