I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
