Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
