these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
