And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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