windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
