You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize