He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.