jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.