I can tuck mytits in my pants
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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