he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months