Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.