he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I need to calm my uterus...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa