I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Intervention is following me on twitter.
she peed on how many people?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..