she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
