So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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