Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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