Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
