Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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