no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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