girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Randomize
