I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
