No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
