im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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