If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
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The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
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She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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