you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize