haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
