I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Randomize
