I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
