FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
