I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
