careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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