I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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