So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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