saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
