I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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