But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
