Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
