I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
