Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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