You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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