I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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