I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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