And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
and she was petting her beer can
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
