I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
