I showed him my bush... on skype.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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