In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Terrible idea I love it
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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