i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
