Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
