i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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