I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
