suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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