my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
